10 TWITTER MOMENTS: ARIANA GRANDE GOES TONY ROBBINS ON US
When plundering through the wreckage of our society, future archaeologists will undoubtedly come to the same conclusion so many of us already have: social media has melted everyones’ brains. This fact is basically undeniable, even for those (myself included) who still use multiple social media platforms. You’re probably already aware of this on some level, but if you need further proof go find the timeline of any ‘politically engaged’ person over the age of 40 and you’ll receive all the proof you need.
But we’re not here today to talk about the social, political, and cultural woes the internet and Big Tech have foisted upon us. We’re here today to look at Celebrity Twitter and examine their brain rot.
THANK U, NEXT (BUT FIRST IMMA GET ALL TONY ROBBINS IN THIS B)
what an interesting, challenging, painful and yet beautiful and exciting chapter of life ..... when it rains it pours but i’m embracing all of it. i’m excited for whatever else the universe has in store for me. she’s growing n she’s grateful.
— Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) November 11, 2018
Having a positive attitude in the face of adversity is one of the best life skills you can learn. Yet, like those couples who are a little too affection in each others mentions, broadcasting this sort ish out to the world makes it seem like a front. Perhaps that’s an overly cynical take, but as Shabazz Palaces taught us: “If you talk about it, it’s a show. If you move about it, it’s a go.” Not saying, just saying y’all… (One has to tread lightly here since AG is quickly approaching Beyonce levels of ‘You Can Never Even Remotely Criticize This Person’)
KESHA DIDN'T START THE FIRE
(1/2) the fires in California have been scary and devastating to so many. all my love goes out to the brave firefighters who continue fighting the fire and risking their lives to protect families, animals, and all the people, places and creatures affected by this tragedy. pic.twitter.com/IaStzS8FJr
— kesha (@KeshaRose) November 12, 2018
In case you didn’t know, the deadliest forest fire in US History is still currently raging in both Southern and Northern California.
Despite being born in Tennessee, the newly liberated Kesha has called Los Angeles home for over a decade. She’s using her platform and profile to show ways we can all be proactive and help in what can seem like a hopeless situation.
KING PRINCESS WILL BE SINGING THE FOOTBALL NIGHT IN AMERICA THEME IN LIKE 3 YEARS
if you love pussy is god video you will really love the video we gunna make for my remix of Jesus take the wheel. this was our first rehearsal. pic.twitter.com/15sGo8Yepu
— King Princess (@KingPrincess69) November 12, 2018
Sure the real news from King Princess this week is the documentary short film “Best Friend” she made for Spotify’s RISE project. But let’s take a moment to recognize her potential cover of this century’s drunk driving anthem (with apologies to Car Seat Headrest), which we should all be here for.
Oh and she also has a ton of new music out to accompanying the film, so be sure to click that link fam.
HALSEY + ALISON WONDERLAND = <3
U r now my boyfriend
— ALISON WONDERLAND (@awonderland) November 12, 2018
Is this some sort of new meme? Seriously, what does this even mean?
Whatever this is about, Halsey looks absolutely incredible. And the perfect response from Alison Wonderland is the type of thing that’ll make you spend the rest of the day in a cold shower smoking a carton of cigarettes.
TY DOLLA $IGN AT HIS MOST CONTROVERSIAL
Raising Canes > Chick fil A
— Ty Dolla $ign (@tydollasign) November 8, 2018
The Los Angeles native is courting controversy here with a scorching hot take. It’s easy to hate on Chick Fil A and paint the multi-Billion dollar corporation as a bunch of religious fanatic homophobes, and while that’s 100% true, their food is good as hell.
Raising Canes is perfectly fine, but it takes a lot more than some soggy buttered bread and a B+ hot sauce to dethrone the King.
We’re all entitled to our own opinion, but Mr. Dolla $ign is objectively wrong here.
FAMOUS CONTEMPORARIES HANGOUT
stank you smelly mucho pic.twitter.com/HQaYxrBRRT
— Tyler, The Creator (@tylerthecreator) November 12, 2018
So Kanye and Tyler, The Creator were hanging out after the 6th Annual Camp Flog Gnaw Carnival, which Tyler curates and puts on.
As of writing, it is unknown whether or not they were discussing the fact that Mr. West looks like a toddler who dressed themselves.
NO ONE LOVES YOU LIKE YOU LOVE YOURSELF
decided to get my hair cut right after seeing this picture lol. pls don’t hate me for wearing my own merch, i just really like this lofi bird album1 shirt @bitbirdofficial #album1 #bitbird #fender #jaguar pic.twitter.com/Xq4BgUOKIQ
— San Holo [album1 out now] (@sanholobeats) November 13, 2018
You’ve got to look out for yourself, cause there’s no guarantee that anyone else will. That’s why We Are:The Guard are absolutely on board with artists sporting their own merch. Plus that shirt and logo are dope.
Kindly send us some swag Mr. Holo.
IGGY GONNA IGGY
I love being up all night and thinking
Hahaha im gonna sleep alllll morning!
Until 4 hours later your body clocks like: bitch sike!
— IGGY AZALEA (@IGGYAZALEA) November 9, 2018
Iggy Azalea’s blistering lack of self-awareness makes her one of the decades most relatable and emblematic artists. She continues this streak by sharing this delusion we’re all guilty of.
Never change Iggy!
MOMS GONNA MOM
at 630 in the morning my mom asked me "i know this is weird but when you're dressed can we go in the attic and take a picture with all the halloween skeletons so i can say 'look who came home to see the relatives'"
— soccer mommy (@sopharela) November 13, 2018
In closing, we come full circle with a pitch-perfect example of how the internet has ruined everyone’s minds.
Having said that, this a pretty good joke. Also, if you haven’t listened to Soccer Mommy’s brilliant debut record Clean please reconcile that immediately.
Calvin Paradise is not any one thing. The half-hearted vagabond and forgetful luddite currently resides in Los Angeles and how he spends his time is none of your damned business.