What’s up Chella-heads? The world’s most important festival (for a band to become instantly famous and/or you to show off your brand new self-designed fashion line!!) just dropped their annual line-up and it’s a doozy. 

Don’t be old and jaded and one of those haters that complain that Radiohead, the xx, Empire of the Sun, Dillon Francis, Mac DeMarco, Little Dragon, Bonobo, Big Gigantic, Jagwar Ma, Preservation Hall Jazz Band, Bicep, Bon Iver, DJ Snake, Martin Garrix, Nicolas Jaar, Tycho, Lorde, Justice, New Order, Future Islands, New Order, Galantis and Grouplove have all been there within the past five years. Who cares? It’s COACHELLA, baby!! You’re missing the point!! Coachella is about seeing the hottest acts surrounded by the hottest people in the hot desert sun.  So get your sunscreen ready and get this party started early!  How early?! How about noon when the gates open for some of the coolest artists on the lineup? 

You know… small artists, with the small crowds in the small tents on the poster in small fonts.

Don’t know any of them?  Don’t worry the Internet is here to help!! 

I have compiled a playlist of the coolest / most interesting / best soundings artists in small font? Why?! Because I love music and I love you! Now hop to it and have some fun because every one of these artists is three fire emojis. 

Click here for more of the Best of Coachella Small Print Artists: Friday | Saturday



I know that Coachella always delves into the world music scene a little bit, but JEEZ King Sunny Ade might just be the perfect match.  It's like the artist Paul Simon went and stole all his ideas from.  Shit, 70 years old?  Maybe it was.  Dude JAMS out on the keys. Or is that a flute?  We'll never know.  Guess we gotta go see and find out!



Damn this song is legitimately sexy as fuck. Maybe it’s the little vocal tics and heavy breathing of lead singer Sophie, maybe it’s the illustrious production.  Maybe it’s just the content of the lyrics.  I’m confused.  Here I was happily married and now I’m having trouble making it through the rest of the day.  Their other songs aren’t nearly as sexy but just as good. That’s probably a good thing.  The production on every track is VERY different as if they’re saying, “Hey! You can’t pin us down! And that’s why we get booked on Coachella!" I love that they’re from New York when they sound Western Hemisphere as fuck.



The former front man of Smith Westerns can really do no wrong, can he?  Here he mellows out and grows up, adding some beautiful song writing and a brass section.  Is this the new Father John Misty without the hate in his heart?  Light fare indie jangle is a refresher course in days be'gone.  Short, sweet and to the point, you know exactly what you're going to get with this set— 40 minutes of catchy hooks and bouncing good times.  This is what Coachella is all about.



Damn!  Patrick Topping got booked?  Coachella getting all house-hipster on us with the new King of incredibly self-aware bizarre tech-house.  This guy is like the second coming of Green Velvet, if Green Velvet wasn’t still around and crushing it and working with him.



Oh SNAP!  This song!?  This is one of the catchiest, most soulful songs I’ve heard in years.  This soultronica from London has got the catchiest, most uplifting hooks since music first came into existence.  If this song were featured in some romantic comedy movie trailer, it would help sell that movie really well, just saying.  Trailer editors, you can have that idea.  Unless I already stole it from reality.  Go to this set and let your soul listen to some soul.



I named Tourist’s album best of 2016 while reviewing it for the former version of this very site.  This album is absolutely stellar and after hearing it live, it’s only cemented further as a masterpiece.  Check this out if you have taste and like to dance and sublime music.  Get ready for the best sleeper set of the goddamn year.  BTW listen to this whole album.  I wouldn’t dare recommend that for every artist.  Just this one.  I promise you won’t be disappointed and it will guarantee your presence at this set. 



OMG Mexican pop punk, it's like how has it taken this long?  Jesus Christ, this is perfect music. 



First Show Me the Body were all like, “I don’t know what Coachella is talking about, we’re not on the lineup” and then magically they were again.  Make up your minds, guys.  To play or not to play, that is the question.  Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer. The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune, Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles, And by opposing end them: to die, to sleep.


Now you’ve done all the research humanly possible, go have some FUN!

About Kurt Kroeber

From deep within the murky depths of the Los Angeles River emerged a creature: 50% raver, 50% comedian, 10% Robotcop. Kurt Kroeber doesn’t own a dog, operates Soundbleed (the world’s only dance party comedy talk show rave), and is down to party with you. Come up some time and say “Hey dude!” But definitely make sure to casually drop the secret Illuminati password.