David Hasselhoff - True Survivor

It seems like nostalgia for nostalgia’s sake is the only thing we make in this country any more. But I’ll be gawddamned if we don’t do it better than everyone else! ‘Merica

For example, David Hasselhoff’s best new video, “True Survivor.” First off, the word new in the previous sentence is not a typo. The Hoff actually released some new music. A new music video to be exact. Anyways, the Hoff’s new single is a tremendous farce on 80’s action movies. That’s because “True Survivor” is actually on the soundtrack to an upcoming satire of 80’s action movies called Kung Fury. If your next question is, “What’s Kung Fury all about?,” I suggest you watch the video below, because it’ll likely answer all your questions. Apparently it has something to do with David Hasselhoff riding a T-Rex, which is a sentence that doesn’t really make sense to me even so I typed it and I watched Mr. Baywatch ride a T-Rex only moments ago. What a time to be alive!

In related news, The Hoff has still got it you guys. Holy sh*t does he still have it.

Prepare for the best 250 seconds of your day, if not life.



For those of you scoring at home, that’s: David Hasselhoff 1, Internet 0.

In case you still want to know more, here’s the link where you can learn all your heart desires about Kung Fury.

If you need me, I’ll be wondering around going “Permit denied!” for the next few weeks.


About Calvin Paradise

Calvin Paradise manages to live a productive life despite a childhood of home schooling and suffering from what some doctors have called the worst case of Groucho Marx's Syndrome in recorded history.