NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL MUSIC! 69 IS DROPPING NEXT YEAR: LOL
For sixty-eight years the “Now That’s What I Call Music!” people have been dropping compilation after compilation of the hottest pop songs of the year. It’s a veritable who’s who and what’s what of popular American music, ranging from the Buggles to the Baha Men. From Smash Mouth to Ed Sheeran and all the way to Ariana Grande-- Thank You, Next, am I right?
But the real question on everybody’s mind is: what the hell is going to happen when they finally hit the most hilarious number there has ever been: 69? With the release of the 68th entry this year, they’ve got to be sweating at the brow about how to proceed going forward.
I think about this literally most days.
There is absolutely nothing funnier in the universe to me. You can’t impress me with any of your memes, because I’ve got thinking about “Now That’s What I Call Music!” to do.
Like, what’s the plan here?
Are they going to skip it? The way most buildings don’t have a 13th floor?
Or are they just going to let it happen and refuse to acknowledge the news item that will me and all my boys giggling until 2022?
Like, “Now That’s What I Call Music! 69” to be released on all digital platforms soon. Come on! LOL! It’s literally too much. I’m laughing so hard my ass has literally fallen out of my pants.
Will they drop a press release?
Dear Pop-Lovers of America,
We’re sorry for the disheartening news, but this year we will be unable to release a compilation of your favorite pop songs. Last year was the 68th version of our collective work and we just can’t bare to face what will happen if we dare release a version that’s the number following that. You know, the bad number-- the one that also shares the name with the famed and very arousing sexual position. We are far too repressed to deal with this, and the fact that we’re even writing this letter is proving most difficult.
Please understand that there’s nothing we’d rather do than release a mixtape style compilation next year, even in the midst of a time where digital platforms nearly make this concept obsolete. It is our true passion to collect 40+ songs into one single place for your listening pleasure. Unfortunately, we must take a year off. We will see you in 2020 for “Now That’s What I call Music! 70,” even though we understand that this could easily be mistaken as the 69th entry considering there will never have been one. You try handling the political landmine we’re in the middle of. It’s all so challenging.
The “Now That’s What I Call Music!” People
It’s just too good. Well we’ll be waiting patiently for the next nine to ten months, until there is some kind of announcement. Fingers crossed that it’s HILARIOUS. We bet it’s going to be.
P.S. If they do end up releasing this I really hope 6ix9ine is in the mix. His songs are sick and he totally fits the whole theme they’ll have on their hands.
From deep within the murky depths of the Los Angeles River emerged a creature: 50% raver, 50% comedian, 10% Robotcop. Kurt Kroeber doesn’t own a dog, operates Soundbleed (the world’s only dance party comedy talk show rave), and is down to party with you. Come up some time and say “Hey dude!” But definitely make sure to casually drop the secret Illuminati password.