The F is This? "Katy and the Popcats???"

6/13/13

There's a social contract between a star and their fans. We, the fans, will continue to pay them to entertain us so long as they put out an enjoyable product that doesn't seem like a disingenuous cash grab. Katy Perry's latest venture, a turn in a commercial-short film for Popchips, doesn't just break this contract, it takes a massive dump on it. It's a sellout for an artist whose net worth is estimated 55 million.

Seriously, how could you possibly need more money?

The below video is an extended commercial involving the former Mrs. Russell Brand in a PG-rated jumpsuit, talking cats, and cats in wigs.

That's not a joke. No need to ask 'The Fuck Is This?'. This is a brand new circle of hell:

 

Where to begin? Well, Britney wore it better (obviously) and with more camel toe.

Britney Spears camel toe

And again, she has 55 million dollars, why not leave this to someone desperate, like one of the Kardashians who doesn't have a sex tape (zing!)? How much could they have possibly paid her to do something this ridiculous? And why oh why is she so game for it? Are the wallets of the crazy cat ladies out there really so deep that Perry will go to such shameless lengths to get in their good graces?

Although I suppose if you've willingly married Russell Brand your capacity to feel shame probably doesn't function properly.

This isn't funny, cute, or whatever it is she told herself this was. It's just bad.

It's not just that this commercial is shitty, which it is. It's that Katy Perry sells her music by being the personification of the sex-crazed lush any sensible mother hopes her daughter doesn't become, but now she also wants to sell those same mothers a healthy alternative to potato chips. Fuck that.

Stay in your lane, Katy Perry, and just do the inevitable Double Mint commercial in which you showcase "the twins." (I put the twins in parenthesis because I was referring to her breasts. As far as I know Katy does not have an actual twin.)

Or have the good sense to do what Brad Pitt does and only film commercials for Japan.