Top Music Videos! - Week 7 2013

2/15/13
Best New Videos

You could spend your time giving or receiving contrived heart-shaped gifts this week, you could. The internet is your oyster. Though if you feel like smashing some watermelons in your underwear, doubling your boobage dreams, reversing the flow of evolution, or scrawling communist tattoos in your arm, you've come to the right place. Welcome to another week in best new videos, where love is blind, and buffalo-headed:

 

Pacific Air - 'Float'

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Just when we thought girls in pristine post-war bikinis couldn't get any more fab, these oddly disaffected dudes get kaleidoscopic. Double the boobage, double the fun.

 

Susanne sundfør - 'White Fox'

Those nordic lands, with their street-pissing Knife videos and lobotomies. Have fun poking at the symbolism of a dead fox on a little boy's shoulders. Knight Rider motorcycle man, though, he (or she?) makes complete sense.

 

Amon Tobin - '4 Ton Mantis'

This is some madcap noir underwear nightmare shit. Oddly erotic. Entirely disturbing. Basically, everything you'd hope for in a best new video joint, complete with a fucking robotic praying mantis and a Gallagher-watermelon smasher in training.

 

Harlem Shake - 'V3 (Office Edition)'

There have been some sweet viral Harlem Shakes so far, despite no one actually doing the flame 80s dance in the raw, but rather this floppy arm thing - this office jam, though, it's kind of like popping bubble wrap. So satisfying a cure for the afternoon drag.

 

Fatboy Slim - 'Right Here, Right Now (Coyu Radio Edit)'

Opposite the evolutionary eye-candy that was "Right Here, Right Now" in its natural bipedal inception, this Coyu edit gets all Benjamin Button up in your brain, playing the clip backwards, from fat sloth American back to our single-cell organism days. It's devolution, baby.

 

Original Dance Videos - 'Magic Hat'

Magic hats: helping white people people dance since 2011. Currently only available in candy apple red. If we walked into a record store and saw this, we'd die happy.

 

Jim James - 'A New Life'

Yim's transformation back to true blue Jim didn't happen through a single doorway. Several of them, actually, all concealing a frightening buffalo-headed woman in a sundress, and some with pairs of androgynous beat-it dancers. Beware the buffalo head.

 

Marissa Nadler - 'Wedding'

Speaking of dancers, always incredibly more beautiful when scaled backwards. What does that tell you about the human body? And why does the alter-ego in black get to statue it up? Introvert? Extrovert? Brain. Hurt.

 

Run-DMC - 'It's Tricky'

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Hip-hop's most influential crew opened one of their best jams with a Penn & Teller gag. Moral of the story: if you're a white doofus who's greatest talent is magic, make some friends with rapper elite. Which, if you haven't watched the end of the video yet, is the epitome of tricky.

 

The Milk Carton Kids - 'The Ash & Clay'

Despite their obvious aping of Simon & Garfunkel AND The Graduate bus scene, watching these grandmamas Sunday-strolling it through suburbia is quite the perfect slice of Americana. The only thing that would make it finer if there was a shot of them physically clicking play on their car stereo, cuing this song.

 

Proxy - 'Raw'

Improvised tattoos, raw missile footage -- what is that, a communist hammer and sickle? We'd be frightened but there are dancing girls aside muscle cars and cartoon montages, so we're just utterly confused.

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Really, though, y'all are our forever valentines. Now go make a Harlem Shake video about it while dancing backwards.  Maybe it will even show up on next week's top music videos.  Until next week, BitCandy munchers.