What version of the simulation do we live in where a Cardi B and Nicki Minaj beef is worth covering to the point we (and the rest of the internet) have covered it? Is this just a distraction from the political nightmare that we live in? Or are these two ladies really petty enough to call each other names, pull each other's hair and get into straight up brawls?

C’mon ladies, isn’t there’s room enough in this world for two fine ladies who got attitude and flow?  Can’t we all just get along? I mean seriously, who throws a shoe?

Is this our fault? The internet news cycle feeling the need to cover every little piece of news that comes their way, exasperating this to the point of exhaustion? Or is it the fans, begging for news that's fueling this fire? Or is it all just kind of maybe a little bit fake? A marketing scheme to get more attention to both of these beauties?  It all just kind of feels like nonsense to me. 

And now Nicki Minaj is selling merchandise hyping up their rivalry?  Pink bags mocking their fashion week fight… how fashionable. 

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A post shared by Barbie® (@nickiminaj) on Oct 4, 2018 at 2:51pm PDT

“Nicki Stopped My Bag” is apparently something that Cardi B said on IG after the famous shoe-throwing incident.  I don’t really understand what  it means but maybe this quote from Cardi will shine some light for you: “I let you sneak diss me, I let you lie on me, I let you attempt to stop my bags, f— up the way I eat.”  I think she’s saying that somehow Nicki is stopping her from making money?  HOW?  Wasn’t Queen kind of a tank?  Aren’t “Bodak Yellow” and “I Like It” two of the biggest hip-hop tracks of the past couple of years?  Man, this scuffle at the Harper’s Bazaar Fashion Week event sounds stupid at best. I mean seriously, WHO THROWS A SHOE?

I’m leaning towards simulation with this one people. This all sounds like the marketing ploy of old white dudes, using racism and sexism to further the cartoon dollar signs behind their eyes.  Maybe if we got the two most iconic black women to fight, then they’d BOTH make more money.  Catfighting on a massive, public, Instagram-baiting scale.  Sounds like the Logan Paul and KSI fight to me.

What’s next?  Nicki and Cardi bringing back the classic Wendy’s catchphrase “Where’s The Beef?” after they make up and both have fake smiles plastered on their faces? Talk about a reboot I’m here for.  Or would this be a rebeef?

I think their version would be a lot more fly. 

May I vote for the third old lady to be played by Austin Powers? 

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From deep within the murky depths of the Los Angeles River emerged a creature: 50% raver, 50% comedian, 10% Robotcop. Kurt Kroeber doesn’t own a dog, operates Soundbleed (the world’s only dance party comedy talk show rave), and is down to party with you. Come up some time and say “Hey dude!” But definitely make sure to casually drop the secret Illuminati password.