The Worst: Daft Punk "Touch w/Paul Williams"

5/27/13

Daft Punk's Random Access Memories is out now, and everyone is currently working themselves into a tizzy over it. One track that's been getting a lot of buzz on the blogesphere is "Touch," which features Academy Award winner Paul Williams.

Williams wrote and sings the lyrics for the song, which is the "most complex on the record" and features over 250 individual musical elements.

One half of Daft Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo said that "Touch" is "like the core of the record, and the memories of the other tracks are revolving around it."

Pitchfork listened to it and exclaimed, "The song warps and bends, floating through genres, epochs, and emotions with a sense of hallucinatory wonder."

We listened to the track and said, "What The Fuck?" (We were so appalled, we couldn't even finish our catchphrase.).  Seriously, is this a JOKE?  N'est pas!?  C'est magnifique merde. 

Listen to Daft Punk "Touch (Featuring Paul Williams)" below and let us know what you think in the comments...are we off here or right on point.  

This can't be serious, right? Honestly, this has to be Daft Punk just fucking with us. They're trying to see just how much they can get away with. Of the over 250 elements in this song, I would have left out the honky-tonk piano and over-the-top vaudeville vocals. Well, I probably just would have scrapped the whole thing entirely. It's borderline laughable, save for the middle section that sounds like one of Williams's many movie scores.

This song is a mess, and not the good kind. It's anemic, overly indulgent, wwwaaaaayyyyyyy too long, and like a girl not wearing undies at a frat party, just trying way too hard. "Touch" didn't deserve three minutes, let alone eight.

If you listened to this whole track, we're sorry.  If you disagree with us.  We're not.