Trapped in a Bloomin' Dreamscape


Allrite dreamy indie pop fans, I’m one song deep on the new Beach House album, Bloom, and I can already tell it's gonna be on all your Best Music 2012 lists!

I am not a dreamy indie pop fan. This is the first Beach House album I’ve ever listened to all the way through AND of my own accord. (I once had a coworker who would try to force Beach House on me.) Well, guess what. Still doesn’t do it for me. The songs? They like kind of all sound the same? Guys? Is anyone with me here? And the vocals are kind of like mushy and breathy and not in a good way? I need catchier and/or more gangster things to be happy.

Mostly I’m upset because I got to the last song, “Irene,” and was excited to be done listening so I could throw on some BADBADNOTGOOD or like, anything else, then I realized it was SIXTEEN MINUTES LONG. Fine, Beach House, you win this round.

Each song is like being trapped in 4-5 minutes of hip, indie, noisy, fuzz sounds with a fully replaceable singer while a romantic sunset is looping in the background. So I’m assuming some of you will be into that. I know all my friends are and I’m going to catch a lot of shit for this review.

Here’s the first track, “Myth.” It sounds like stuff, and also things. Like, if stuff and things were so hip they were totally boring. I think it’s the lead single or something. (Note: It’s definitely the lead single.)


This one is called “Troublemaker.” Again -- hip, fuzzy stuff and things. I picked this one to share because I fancy myself a bit of a troublemaker.


SO, Beach House made this album called Bloom that all y’all indie kids are going to be losing your butts over. Especially with Pitchfork’s 9.1/10 review. Best Music 2012? Or Best Music evarrrr? Or hopefully someone out there agrees with me that this is supes boring?

The album cover is sweet at least.

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