Scott Walker Fools Everyone (+ Pitchfork)
This is the pinnacle example of a critically acclaimed album that is 100% unlistenable. Like, if you make it through three full songs and haven't run to the kitchen looking for some type of blade (hell, I would even consider using cardboard from my Captain Crunch cereal) to slit your wrists, then maybe you're some type of Superman. But just like Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark -- that scene at the end where they had shut off all their senses so their heads wouldn't explode into a million pieces -- it's kinda like listening to this album.
I mean, yeah, I did watch the Scott Walker 20th Century Man documentary and I was mildly fascinated... until the music started. The fascination was the music process and how he got these sounds. I mean THIS. This is way cool. Just watch this video and you'll get my drift:
Scott Walker - 30th Century Man (trailer)
But you know what, man? I don't give a shit that you made your snare out of a guy punching meat.
I don't care that you made a big fucking wooden box and slammed some cinder blocks on it to make a kick snare.
I mean, check out this part here where Scott Walker is epically and inanely trying to tell the percussionist how to hit the big slab of meat. WTF... wait... is this Spinal Tap Pt 3? You are fucking kidding me?!
I don't care that this is supposed to be cerebral and one level beyond all hipsterdom (yes, Pitchfork gave it an 8.0, landing it in its Best New Music category). BWWAHAHAAA.... they got you again, dude! Another P4K Poser Fail. And yeah, I know all you "bros in bedrooms" are sitting around jerking off on this Scott Walker album cover and exclaiming in exhilaration, "Ohhh Yeah. This is suuuccchhhh the shiiiiiit!"
The truth is that Scott Walker in his best days was Britain's Justin Bieber. And a gazillion years later he is making "art" records. That are totally horrible... and fooling everyone in the process that this is "important" music.
You know what's important, dude? How about a fucking melody.
What I do know is that this is indeed an awesome album... as a comedy record. Yes, just listen to this Scott Walker album, Bish Bosch, as a Saturday Night Live skit. I find myself seriously laughing out loud. You will be entertained for days.
Watch the trailer below for the new Scott Walker album here.
Scott Walker - Bish Bosch (Album Trailer)
Comment below if you think I've got this wrong or totally on point. Let's mix it up. I dare someone to dispute me. C'mon...
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