You're Grounded for Radiohead Thievery: Willow Smith "Codex" "Sugar & Spice" reviewed


There's an old saying that goes, "No one wants to hear a rich man sing the blues." Turns out that's just as true for the daughters of one of the richest men in the world.

After imploring America's youth to whip their hair back and forth, consequences be damned, Willow Smith has gone all Conor Oberst on us.

The youthful songstress has opened 2013 on a very somber note. Her latest new song, "Sugar & Spice," is a very emo number that has nothing to do with the Marley Shelton-led teen comedy of the same name.

For the beat Willow borrows from Radiohead's "Codex." And by borrows I mean just sings her own morose lyrics over "Codex."

Check out "Sugar & Spice" below, then stick around for my take right afterwards. Lyrics included in this vid, so try not to cut yourself while watching it:

Where to begin? For starters, to call the lyrics overly dramatic would be an understatement. For chrissakes you're twelve. If there's any certainty in this world, it's that 12 year olds have the emotional depth of a Kardashian. And that's before you factor in the money and fame. Willow may as well be one of The Sisters K, albeit with (some) actual talent.

I'm sure dipshits everywhere are listening to this song and saying, "Well this just proves that money doesn't buy happiness." Which is theoretically true, but at age 12 I'm actually pretty sure it does. At the very least it can buy you out of temporary sadness. This feels very much like someone from an ivory tower trying to relate to the masses. It feels forced and contrived, even by 12-year-old-pop-star standards.

And while Thom Yorke and Co. are a bunch of pretentious twats, they deserve better than this. Much better, in fact. It'd be one thing if a legitimate artist did this, but this is mother flipping Willow Smith we're talking about here.

Rolling Stone apparently gave this bit of middle school show and tell three stars, further proving that outside of Matt Taibbi they're an entirely useless rag.

Willow, just stick to what you're best at: providing material for Jimmy Fallon.