10 TWITTER MOMENTS: MARIAH CAREY STILL ISN'T READY FOR CHRISTMAS

by Jess Grant
10/27/21

Twitter's favorite holiday, Halloween, is almost here! I'm not sure about you guys, but I'm so ready for the array of Dune-inspired lewks about to hit my feed! Until then, it's time for the latest edition of We Are: The Guard's 10 Twitter Moments. Just don't forget to save me some candy corn in return for bringing you the following tweets from Mariah Carey, Lil Nas X, Jack Harlow, and lots more!

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MARIAH CAREY STILL ISN'T READY FOR CHRISTMAS

I'm not going to lie, I have a tendency to start celebrating Christmas from October 1st. If the Queen of Christmas herself, Mariah Carey, says "not yet," however, THEN IT DAMN WELL MEANS "NOT YET!" Mariah basically tweeted: "My royalties can wait a few weeks!"

 

LIL NAS X WANTS DISNEY TO PLAY HALLOWEENTOWN

RIGHT, LIL NAS X? I'm sorry, but it's not Halloween until Disney Channel has played all four of the Halloweentowns. Does this mean I'm finally going to have to give in and subscribe to Disney+? Or does anyone have an old DVD player I can borrow? ARGHHH!

 

JACK HARLOW'S GRANDPA IS TOTALLY ADORABLE

I'M NOT CRYING, YOU'RE CRYING! No, really, this is the cutest, most adorable thing I've ever read in my whole life! Grandpa Harlow is the proudest, most supportive grandpa of all time! Jack needs to propose to me, already, so I can be part of the extended Harlow family!

 

DOLLY PARTON IN A HOT TUB IS MY FALL AESTHETIC

IT'S FALL, Y'ALL! I'm loving the fact Dolly Parton has managed to do a photoshoot for every possible season, situation, and Twitter meme. I'm also loving the whole "cute but still sexy" autumnal aesthetic Miss. Parton has going on here. Oh, and extra points for the hot tub!

 

LUCY DACUS HAS DISCOVERED THE PERFECT SELFIE

Did you know Boygenius band member Lucy Dacus actually invented the saying "know your angles?" Seriously, though, if you think Lucy's talents stop at writing sad-girl indie-folk songs, THEN THINK AGAIN! This is quite frankly scary and impressive, Miss. Dacus!

 

MEGAN THEE STALLION IS PINHEAD THIS HOTTIEWEEN

OMGGG! Halloween isn't for a few days yet, but Megan Thee Stallion has already won the whole damn holiday with this incredible Pinhead costume! Hellraiser? MORE LIKE HOTTIERAISER, AM I RIGHT? I'm sorry, I'll see myself out. P.S. Honestly, though, Meg ate this!

 

LIZZO SHARES A LOVE SONG FOR CARDI B

I'm not entirely sure this is what Cardi B meant by Lizzo doing a "love song," but you know what? I'LL TAKE IT! I've got to admit, however, I was kind of hoping for an extended verse about Lizzo's future husband and baby daddy, Chris Evans. Maybe next time?

 

SHAWN MENDES AND TARZAN ARE THE ABSOLUTE CUTEST

Shawn Mendes and Tarzan? NAME A CUTER DUO, I'LL WAIT! That said, as much as I'm loving this frameable family portrait, I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss Shawn's annual tradition of tweeting about Scream every October. Halloween quite frankly isn't the same!

 

TROYE SIVAN SINGS LEITH ROSS LIVE FROM THE BATH

Troye Sivan singing "We'll Never Have Sex" by Leith Ross, WHILE NAKED IN THE BATH? Mr. Sivan really said: "I'm going to give the gays everything they want!" Jokes aside, I'm definitely going to need a collaboration between Troye and Leith. MY BODY IS READY!

 

PHOEBE BRIDGERS WANTS ED SHEERAN'S SPOT ON SNL

BOOK HER, YOU COWARDS!

Source

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Until next time, follow We Are: The Guard on Twitter for lots more! xo

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Jess Grant is a frustrated writer hailing from London, England. When she isn't tasked with disentangling her thoughts from her brain and putting them on paper, Jess can generally be found listening to The Beatles, or cooking vegetarian food.