Best Music Videos - Week 9, 2013

3/1/13
Best New Videos

Take a seat, BitCandy munchers, thanks to this week's company of best music videos, we've got some new rules on domination. Rule #1: Always talk about domination. Rule #2: Get yourself a fancy tea set and a cigar. Rule #3: Also pick up a pair of leopard-skin spandex. Rule #4: If you're a female body builder, or own a mask, make your own damn rules. Proceed:

 

Atoms For Peace - Ingenue

Once again Thom Yorke commands the dance floor. This time on team Atoms for Peace. Don't nobody step to Thom. You'll get trampled, baby.

 

Rune RK ft. Andreas Moe - 'Power of You and Me'

What is this S&M Mad Hattery? Whatever happened to hookers and blow? New high-water mark for sword-wielding, cigar-smoking impresarios obsessed with Lady Time: procure mask-wearing models to destroy your fancy tea collection. Pinky out.

 

Birds of Tokyo - 'Lanterns'

The revolution will not be televised. The revolution will have dudes with beards. The revolution will feature karaoke. The revolution will have smoke and fire and appear as though it's a revolution, but in actuality, it's pretty weak, bros, save for a frightening toothsome dog nip.

 

Elliphant - 'Down on Life'

People of the non-internet lands, beware - the hipsters are coming. They have discovered how to ride horses, and have brought multiple pairs of leopard-skin spandex to rape, pillage and sick horny dogs upon exercise balloons until all that you consider beautiful in this world is played the fuck out.

 

The Mighty Boosh - Live At Brixton

Most Americans are unaware of the awesomeness of The Mighty Boosh. It's a fascinating random tail of: electro poof (Vince Noir), a jazzman (Howard Moon), a Shaman Enigma (Naboo), and a talking ape (Bollo) and their superior adventures.  This live performance in the style of Monty Python Secret Policeman's Ball...and it's just genius start to finish.

 

ELOQ - "C'MON" (Official Video)

I know fuck all about who ELOQ is. But between the yellow stunner shades and "sprinkle" beard, random semi satanic images, breakdancing, lobsters (yes fucking lobsters), gangsta thugs and old people....there was little doubt this video had to be in our Best New Videos post.

 

Michael Jackson - 'Beat It'

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Michael, come back from this Machiavelli fake death and show us once and for all the ways in which to 'beat it'. It's been a long time since we've ditched the pretenses of wrong vs. right.

 

Aleister X - 'West Coast Tees'

We used to spend hours smoking bongs trying to get ten-percent of the psychedelic synch Aleister X has achieved in three-minutes here. Cubism, 3D-mind tricks, and female bodybuilder flexing, this is as our bong-wielding past selves would say - chocolate buttery smooth nipple. But with the strongest nipples you will ever see.

 

3 amelia (Human Steps LaLaLa)

This is something random. This is something gorgeous. This is something mesmerizing. WTF did I just see? Oh only Human Steps LaLaLa Modern Ballet Troupe doing something to explode your mind.

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Though maybe you're not one to dominate? Maybe you're Thom Yorke and have mastered the art of self-deprecation? To you, well, we have no words. Plenty of people to enrich your lives with cryptic videos, though. So you're all alright in our book. Until next week and another lesson in some odd human emotion.