INDIE BRAND ENDORSEMENTS WE WANT TO SEE!
Music and advertising go back a long, and occasionally strange, way. Whether it's Michael Jackson for Pepsi, Justin Bieber for Proactiv, or Snoop Dogg for Hot Pockets (yes, that actually happened), celebrity branding is a constant source of bemusement, hilarity and embarrassment. But what if our favorite artists were to turn their backs on the indie world and embrace capitalism? From Ariel Pink's washing detergent, Flying Lotus' pancake mix, to Chromeo's pantyhose, there's a product here for everybody.
ARIEL PINK'S WASHING DETERGENT
Ariel Pink's washing detergent cleans and cares for all of your clothes. Specially formulated in Los Angeles for sensitive and effeminate skin. Removes even the most rigid of stains from your whites, your blacks, and of course, your Ariel Pinks.
BJORK'S UNICORN MEAT
Forget dragon meat. Direct from the mystic caves of Reykjavík in Iceland comes Björk's unicorn meat. There's magic in every bite. It has to be eaten to be believed. Now with added sparkles. A good source of happiness, love and rainbows.
ELLIOTT SMITH'S GINSU KNIVES
Ginsu are proud to announce a new range of beautifully designed knives in memoriam of sharp edged object enthusiast, Elliott Smith. Ideal for effortlessly slicing through meat, vegetables, and maybe even human flesh, with expert precision.
FLYING LOTUS' PANCAKE MIX
Flying Lotus, for all of your pancake needs. Serve these light, golden and fluffy treats to guarantee a wonderful start to your day. Extra fragrant, extra tasty and extra flavorful, much like Flying Lotus himself. Soy, gluten, dairy and everything free.
MGMT'S BATHROOM TISSUE
Wipe the smile off their faeces with MGMT's top of the range bathroom tissue. Deep cushioned and enriched with luxurious softness, you or your guests won't look at bathroom tissue in the same way ever again. Only for the most hipster of assholes.
THE FLAMING LIPS' HERPES BALM
No personal hygiene? No problem. With The Flaming Lips' herpes balm, you can continue to live like a skank for the rest of your days. Made from the blood of Wayne Coyne and encased in an edible gummy foetus. (Also endorsed by Ke$ha.)
Gentlemen, why not treat your lady to a pair of Chromeo's smooth, silky and simply irresistible pantyhose? Watch her slip them on, only for you to slip them back off again. Don't have a lady? Get yourself a pair. Anything goes here at Chromeo's.
Do you have any other indie brand endorsement ideas, hipsters? Hit us up in the comments. Who knows, maybe a Part 2 is in order?
About Jess Grant
When Jess Grant isn't writing on music, she can be found playing it – on her guitar, on her ukulele, and on her recently acquired mandolin. Playing it hideously, she ought to add. Jess also studies. She studies the English language, to be precise. Jess is currently on her way to a degree in the subject, and enjoys starting and never finishing novels, screenplays, and poetry in her spare time. She also likes dogs. Lots of dogs.