Oh Man! Oh My! Oh Wow!
Do we have the goods for you today!!!

We Are: The Guard is proud to offer face time with the personal homeboy, your new favorite musician, LA’s pop star extraordinaire, jesse saint john. You know, the guy behind this hit:

And who could forget his debut single MOVE?

Of course by face time, we totally mean iPhone FaceTime or Skype or Google Hangouts for the rest of us. Not like a one-on-one looking each other in the eyes at a Thai restaurant face time (unless you decide to be in a Thai restaurant for the duration of the call. If you do, may I suggest the Green Curry, it’s divine).

We can say from personal experience that Mr. saint john is an absolute treasure to hang out with and this is most definitely a once in a lifetime experience to spend some real quality digital time with the coolest pop star since Jet Screamer showed up on the Jetsons way back in 1960 or something.

We will be linking one very special winner with their own 15 minute visual telecommunication session vis-a-vis singer/songwriter jesse saint john. It can be your very own personal reddit AMA!

You can ask him about his music, his style, what it’s like to write hits for Britney, Charli XCX, Lauv, and Sia.

Hell, you can even ask him to play you some of his unreleased music— he may say no and that’s his prerogative, but wouldn’t that rejection be thrilling? WHO KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN?! This will be YOUR CALL! This will be your private conversation, literally anything is possible.

Maybe jesse will be like “you know what, you seem cool, let’s go get a drink at Seven Grand, and you’ll be like “OKAY, BUT I DON’T LIVE IN LA!” and he’ll be like “FLY HERE!” and then you will but by the time you get here he will have completely forgotten about his empty offer (like a normal celebrity) and then you’ll end up homeless on some wild Los Angeles adventure that you get to tell friends all about when you finally make it back home. Or maybe you’ll just talk about how cool his music is and ask how he gets his ideas and he’ll tell you that art is a process and you’ve just got to believe in yourself. Then after you hang up you start making music and those songs become hits and fast forward to two years later when you show up on James Corden and are like “jesse saint john told me I could” and everyone applauds because by that time he’ll be the biggest pop star since Madonna and you’ll be like, close personal friends now, all because you entered this contest.*

*none of this is likely to happen.  But maybe it could!

Sign up here. This is gonna be the best phone call since they invented texting.

Win 1:1 Time With jesse saint john (Contest on

From deep within the murky depths of the Los Angeles River emerged a creature: 50% raver, 50% comedian, 10% Robotcop. Kurt Kroeber doesn’t own a dog, operates Soundbleed (the world’s only dance party comedy talk show rave), and is down to party with you. Come up some time and say “Hey dude!” But definitely make sure to casually drop the secret Illuminati password.