Posers: 7 Over Hyped Fail Tracks
by Jess Grant
8/22/12
If you read websites like Bitchfork (ahem, typo intended), you WILL be brainwashed into thinking the following seven songs are the second coming. But we say: “Don't! Don't! Don't believe the hype!” Yes, LA Music Blog, BitCandy are putting the TRUTH back into music blogging, one insult at a time (hehe). Look at us as the Julian Assange of music... complete with his neat hair.
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Thee Oh Sees "Flood's New Light"
Shouldn't John Dwyer be cashing his social security cheque by now?! GIVE UP!
Jessie Ware "Sweet Talk"
Breaking news! Jessie J has launched a new career as a Whitney Houston tribute act under the name “Jessie Ware!”
The xx "Chained"
The xx? More like The zz! Can someone tell this band to look up the word “progression” in the dictionary, so they can maybe apply it to their own music?
Petite Noir "Till We Ghosts"
This person's name reminds us of those stupid little peas. Seriously, that's the only interesting thing we can rouse ourselves to say about him (and French names are so 2008 anyway).
Cat Power "Cherokee [Nicolas Jarr Remix]"
Nicolas Jarr has achieved the impossible: made Cat Power's “Cherokee” even more boring than it already was.
Wild Nothing "Paradise"
Jack Tatum lives up to his moniker with this whole lotta NOTHING. To the landfill (really, Gemini was enough, we don't need another album, thank you).
Wavves "Hippies Is Punks"
Smoke a joint, bone Bethany Cosentino, stroke a cat. Please, just do anything but make music, Wavves! Or maybe Batman needs to give us a good slap.
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Over and out with our Posers! To the fans - fear not, LA Music Blog, BitCandy, will back with more hype fails next week! To the haters -
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