10 TWITTER MOMENTS: CARDI B IS READY TO FEEL ALL OF THE FEELINGS TO ADELE

by Jess Grant
10/13/21

On Tuesday, Twitter woke up and chose violence. And by "woke up and chose violence," I mean started to roll out the downvote button. Meanwhile, the fight for the edit button continues. Until Jack Dorsey finally lets us correct our goddamn typos, then, check out the latest edition of We Are: The Guard's 10 Twitter Moments, featuring Cardi B, Dionne Warwick, Doja Cat, and lots more.

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CARDI B IS READY TO FEEL ALL OF THE FEELINGS TO ADELE

When the Cardi B tweet hits different. The countdown to Adele's return after six years is officially on, and honestly? I'm not sure I'm ready for the repressed emotions "Easy on Me" is about to unleash from inside of me. Something tells me my boyfriend is going to have a massive fight on his hands. LMAOOO.

 

DIONNE WARWICK WILL NOT BE PUTTING MAYONNAISE IN HER COFFEE

Dionne Warwick coming for Corporate Twitter? I love to see it. Seriously, though. What was Hellmann's Mayonnaise thinking? I'm sure I'm not the only one who puked up in their mouth a little after reading this tweet. Dionne and Travis Scott definitely need to team up against these crimes against condiments.

 

DOJA CAT IS COMPLETELY OBSESSED WITH BUYING PUMPKINS

Things I love to see: Doja Cat tweeting about pumpkins. It genuinely feels like this is my two personalities colliding. I'd also like to take this moment to thank Doja Cat for normalizing the idea of having pumpkins several weeks ahead of Halloween. GIVE ME ALL OF THE TINY, CUTE, ADORABLE SQUASHES, DAMMIT.

 

HALSEY ABSOLUTELY KILLED IT ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

There's been plenty of talk about Kim Kardashian's hosting skills on Saturday Night Live over the weekend, but I think it's time we shift the conversation to Halsey's performance. I mean. They only gave birth three months ago, and they're already back killing it on stage like it's nothing. A WHOLE GOD.

 

KID CUDI AND TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET HAVE THE BEST BROMANCE EVER

CUDILAMET FOREVER. No, really. Is anyone else totally obsessed with Kid Cudi and Timothée Chalamet's bromance? This photo is giving me some serious Batman and Joker vibes. Can we also take a moment to discuss those recently released pics of Timothée as Willy Wonka? Gonzo could never. Haha.

 

BRUNO MARS WAS WISHED A HAPPY BIRTHDAY BY A FAKE LIONEL MESSI

Bruno Mars turned 36 years old on Friday, and to celebrate, the Hooligans spent the day sending their love to the Silk Sonic singer through the form of, erm, selfies? Even Argentinian soccer legend Lionel Messi took time out to forward his wishes. Perhaps he thought it was Bruno Fernandes? STAY RANDOM, TWITTER.

 

LIL NAS X WAS THE FLYEST LITTLE KID OF ALL TIME

OMGGG. Lil Nas X was really out here putting the fans in a chokehold as early as 12 years old, huh? Hehe. This is the cutest, most adorable throwback photo of all time. Baby Montero was one stylish little dude. The polo shirt? The MySpace pose? The diamond earring? THE DEFINITION OF FLY.

 

MEGAN THEE STALLION IS HYPED FOR VENOM: LET THERE BE CARNAGE

Megan Thee Stallion is keeping her nail technician and manicurist, Coca Michelle, booked and busy, and you know what? I'm absolutely here for it. Every design is a total masterpiece, although this Venom-inspired set is probably my favorite to date. P.S. BRING ON THE HALLOWEEN NAILS, MEG.

 

CHLOE BAILEY REMINDS US ONLY THE BADDEST BITCHES HAVE ALLERGIES

WE LOVE A BAD BITCH WITH ALLERGIES. I don't think a day has gone by that I haven't had a Kleenex stuffed up my nasal orifices, so this tweet made me feel very seen. Oh, and while we're on the topic of Chloe Bailey, did anyone else see her performing on Jimmy Fallon last night? MY GIRL TRULY SLAYED.

 

SHAMIR PRACTICES RADICAL ACCEPTANCE ON "GAY AGENDA"

Shamir and MUNA really said:

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Jess Grant is a frustrated writer hailing from London, England. When she isn't tasked with disentangling her thoughts from her brain and putting them on paper, Jess can generally be found listening to The Beatles, or cooking vegetarian food.