What’s up Chella-heads? The world’s most important festival (for a band to become instantly famous and/or you to show off your brand new self-designed fashion line!!) just dropped their annual line-up and it’s a doozy.

Don’t be old and jaded and one of those haters that complain that Radiohead, the xx, Empire of the Sun, Dillon Francis, Mac DeMarco, Little Dragon, Bonobo, Big Gigantic, Jagwar Ma, Preservation Hall Jazz Band, Bicep, Bon Iver, DJ Snake, Martin Garrix, Nicolas Jaar, Tycho, Lorde, Justice, New Order, Future Islands, New Order, Galantis and Grouplove have all been there within the past five years. Who cares? It’s COACHELLA, baby!! You’re missing the point!! Coachella is about seeing the hottest acts surrounded by the hottest people in the hot desert sun. So get your sunscreen ready and get this party started early!  How early?! How about noon when the gates open for some of the coolest artists on the lineup? 

You know… small artists, with the small crowds in the small tents on the poster in small fonts.

Don’t know any of them? Don’t worry, the Internet is here to help!! 

I have compiled a playlist of the coolest / most interesting / best sounding artists in small font. Why?! Because I love music and I love you! Now hop to it and have some fun because every one of these artists is three fire emojis. 

Click here for more of the Best of Coachella Small Print Artists: Saturday | Sunday



This husband wife duo craft literally perfect indie-dance-pop songs. Like literally. Not figuratively. LITERALLY. Recently they’ve been away at sea on their boat writing their new record. Talk about inspiration, yo!



Coachella has a hard-on for Southern California boys done right. I don’t think there’s one more deserving of this title this year than SNBRN. He’s a remix wizard turning every song you forgot you loved into funky future house sexy vibes. His "Return of the Mack" is better than the original IMO.



I mean look at that friggin name. You gonna miss this 'cause you’re too hungover from raging face at the house you rented in Palm Springs the night before? Get up and see the probable heir to the Flaming Lips weirdness with hints of that Frank Zappa sound. They’ve already played pretty much every other festival in the world, so it’s nice to see Coachella finally getting on the train of this psych freak act. 



Religious AF. Can't tell if this is legit religious or not, but I guess it doesn’t even really even matter. The dance floor is a religious place and Floorplan has a plan to convert everyone out there. This is some deep, stomping house with a driving soul sample. How can you go wrong? I’d say Floorplan has a lot to prove after only listening to one song, but I’ve listened to like five and they're all incredible so…. GO!



I remember there being talk of a Kinks reunion this year, but I sincerely doubt that’s going to happen. I guess instead we're going to have to deal with the Lemon Twigs completely jacking their steez. 40 years is a statute of limitations though so you’re allowed to steal from the Davies brothers guys. I just hope I’m not the only person at the festival that sees this connection. Considering this is their FIRST festival, I may be the only one at the set anyways. 



I’ve had mad love for Nora En Pure since I first heard her deep house chill-out sound. The princess from Denmark is about to be your new DJ crush. Get ready as you lay back in the air-conditioned Yuma tent and bliss out to the chillest set you may ever get to see. I can’t believe that I had trouble picking out a song for her, "Morning Dew" is is a friggin’ classic.



A female led ska/punk band is a rare commodity so I think we should all treasure Aimee Interrupter as beacon of light on an otherwise male dominated scene. With a release coming out on Hellcat records and an opening slot on Rancid’s last tour, this band is quickly rising the ranks to become of the most kick ass punk bands out there. Also it helps that they’re great, writing songs with real emotion and classic 90’s punk rock hooks. Glad to see Coachella not just swing for the punk rock legends but actually get someone new to play. 



Maybe I'm showing my age, but back in my day there were these two bands -- Wavves (SoCal who gives a fuck fast and fun silly pop-punk) and Best Coast - SoCal (fast and fun lighter and lovey-doveier punk). They were also dating. Tacocat IS their child, that’s a fact even if it isn’t.


Too many acts for you? Nah! Just love music with all of your heart and you’ll make it out the other side alive.

About Kurt Kroeber

From deep within the murky depths of the Los Angeles River emerged a creature: 50% raver, 50% comedian, 10% Robotcop. Kurt Kroeber doesn’t own a dog, operates Soundbleed (the world’s only dance party comedy talk show rave), and is down to party with you. Come up some time and say “Hey dude!” But definitely make sure to casually drop the secret Illuminati password.