It’s a daily nightmare where every day is worse than the last and we have no idea if or when it’s going to get better and the real answer is it’s probably not, we’re probably on a downward spiral deep into the pits hell from which we will never escape. BUT AT LEAST THERE’S COACHELLA. Holler! At least there’s one stable thing in our lives as Southern California denizens looking to just have a little fun. Smoke a little bit of that (freshly) legal weed and bliss out in the desert with 100,000 other music fans (or celebrities, or wannabe celebrities) for the ultimate fun in the sun. Here, you don’t have to worry about the rest of the world. For three whole days you can relax and have a little ‘you’ time because the ultimate Southern California music festival is right around the goddamn corner.

Psyched for The Weekend, Beyonce and Eminem but don’t know much else on the lineup? Come on! This is Coachella, you know it’s gonna be stacked. Where’s all the EDM you ask? You know Kygo and Odesza and Deorro but you wanna DANCE. This whole undercard is basically dance music. And let's be real, rock is dead anyways. It’s the first year in (possibly) ever that there hasn't been a rock band atop this poster. Did you even notice that? Pop and Rap and R&B, all covered, oh yeah. And that stacked dance lineup in the small fonts?

Yes the small fonts. Who arrrreee these people? Let’s talk...about the Top 10 Small Print Coachella artists playing Friday. And be sure to study up on the top small print artists playing on Saturday
and Sunday



Justin fucking Martin. Dude is the best thing in dance music (ever?) as far as I’m concerned. With his booty house meets garage meets breaks sound bouncing out of speakers you never know what you’re going to get except smiles and pizza and the best the time you could ever ask for. Justin Martin’s Ghettos & Gardens changed my life and his Hello Clouds follow up ain't nothing to sneeze at neither. The fact that JMart is just now officially on the lineup in 2018 is insane because I’ve been seeing him play since 2012. Hell he’s even been on the Do Lab a couple times. But what does that matter? He’s here now and he’s going to have more booties shaking than Jamiroquai. That’s a guarantee.



Tank and the Bangas have my vote for the most exciting act on the lineup that I’d never heard of before this moment right now, writing this article for you. Why? How about because I’ve never heard anything like this? This New Orleans-based ten-piece band that combines R&B, Soul, Hip-Hop and Spoken-Word over live funk-jazz-soul might just be the most fun you’ll have all weekend. The group is fronted by Tarriona “Tank” Ball who jumps seamlessly between beautiful soul singing, a sick hiphop flow, complex spoken word and even delves into Musical Theatre / Disney Princess territory. Check out their NPR Tiny Desk Concert for a taste of what’s to come and don’t miss this one.



Just a man and a piano serenading us with pure songwriting and an honesty of voice that we haven't heard since… hell, who’s even honest? Randy Newman? Since men first ran their fingers along pianos and sang along. Sure. Benjamin Clementine is going to be around for a long time, so get your fandom in now and watch this troubadour bring down the house at Coachella this year. This man has more range in one song than most vocalists get to show off in their entire career. This is something special.



Did you have a good time at Justice last year? Want some more of that monstrous French-Electro sound? Well get ready for Carpenter Brut to be the dream/nightmare you never knew you wanted. Carpenter Brut feels like he’s scoring 10,000 Italian Horror films from the 80’s that never quite managed to exist. With as much influence from Italo-Prog superstars GOBLIN as those Justice boys Carpenter Brut has got a sound that is so cinematic it’s going to feel like you’re at the goddamn movie theatre.



The Blaze are two French brothers that just so happen to make some of the most unique and haunting dance music out there. Both sing, but their vocal distortion turns it into almost one voice. They have a deep, soulful dub influenced beat that rides the line of house as much as it does R&B. I’m curious to see what these two brothers muster up with the desert wind blowing as they play one of the rare “it’s night time and I haven’t even heard of them” sets.



Okay, so sure Knox Fortune won a Grammy for his work producing and singing on Chance the Rapper’s Coloring Book. So? Now he’s stepping out from behind the scenes into his own chance at superstardom. The singer/producer is making some really unique tunes that blend future bass r&b psych and soul into one cohesive sound. His funky hip-hop beats feel as world building as early Tribe Called Quest even though he’s got no rhyme himself and operates more as a weirdo vocalist that might be more influenced by the weirdo pop of Grimes or the sunny psychedelia of Animal Collective than any beats producer.



After Pitchfork named her Bjork and Orb sampling London Printworks mix one of the ten best DJ Mixes of the year I knew I had to start paying attention to Avalon Emerson. The mix (linked below) even delves into breakbeats and full on drum and bass, while maintaining an overall haunting IDM space house badassery. Coachella figures we need to be paying attention too I guess, so they went and booked her to educate the masses.



Indie drone punk rock baybee this is what it's all about, summertime with your friends at Coachella letting it all shake out. While this might sound like it’s straight out of sunny bliss-scuzz California, it’s actually the opposite side of the world. Fazerdaze is a New Zealand export about the fly halfway across the world to play some tunes for you on the Polo Fields. Don’t miss out on your new favorite indie rock darling.



I was concerned that Coachella didn't have any psych rock for a minute and then along come the Boogarians. They’ve got that Tame Impala vibe for a price tag that the festival can actually afford. The Boogarians are Brazilian Pscyhedelia which I didn’t even know existed and I guess that’s what Coachella is all about, showing you music from all around the world you’re going to love but would never hear of without them. Thanks Coachella.



Mexican sunshine surf rock punk rock? This literally checks of all the boxes that make Coachella execs giddy with excitement. They live for that MexiAmerican punk rock crossover. But the truth of the matter is this might just be one of the most exciting rock bands on the entire lineup. So if you want to prove to me that Rock isn’t dead make sure to find yourself at this set, okay?


So if we happen to see you out there or not, you’ll want to make sure you catch these 10 artists … at the very least, you should add them to your playlist. You’ll be glad we tipped you off when people start looking at you like the brilliant person we know you are. Stick around as we got Saturday’s picks coming soon.

Photo by Andrew Ruiz on Unsplash CC0

From deep within the murky depths of the Los Angeles River emerged a creature: 50% raver, 50% comedian, 10% Robotcop. Kurt Kroeber doesn’t own a dog, operates Soundbleed (the world’s only dance party comedy talk show rave), and is down to party with you. Come up some time and say “Hey dude!” But definitely make sure to casually drop the secret Illuminati password.